Tuesday, 10/24/2017

As The Days Go By


And you may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?

ntodd

October 24, 1:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Without a Chance, or spar - Or even a Report of Land

To justify - Despair:

It was not Death, for I stood up,
And all the Dead, lie down -
It was not Night, for all the Bells
Put out their Tongues, for Noon.

Emily Dickinson.

ntodd

October 24, 1:08 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Monday, 10/23/2017

"What happens when you know something is terribly wrong but nobody believes you?"

It’s time for women to be taken seriously when it comes to our health, our bodies and our ability to speak out.

 - Salon (10/23/2017)

A couple weeks ago, Samuel and I went to the local clinic to establish a PCP so we could get refills on our meds (our VT medicos were kind enough to give us plenty to stretch until we'd settled in).  Records had not been transferred yet, so it was pretty much a cold call.  After getting our vitals and our basic exams, I told the doctor what we each were taking, and also asked if I could get something to help me sleep. 

Boom, boom, boom, he sent orders electronically to the local pharmacy without my having to bring up info on our old clinic's portal showing we had, in fact, been prescribed anything previously.  Even my new Rx wasn't an issue.

Compare and contrast:

As Jennifer sought treatment for her symptoms, “they would run a wide range of tests and do investigations. And then when they couldn't find anything, it always turned back to, ‘Well, maybe you're just really stressed. Maybe you are depressed. Maybe there's nothing wrong at all. Maybe this is all in your head.’”

It took Jennifer over a year of seeing doctors and getting second, third and fourth opinions to even land on her diagnosis. Was this reluctance to diagnose Jennifer due to the lack of knowledge about this fairly prevalent disease? Or was there another unstated prejudice standing in the way of Jennifer getting treatment?

“I started to suspect as I was trying to get a diagnosis that I was being taken less seriously because I was young and female there was a strong expectation that because of my youth I was supposed to be well and nothing could be wrong,” Jennifer told me in our interview for "Inflection Point." “But that also because of my youth and my gender that I was just more prone to be kind of anxious and worry about my body and what I was feeling. . . . And I think there's just this sort of unspoken expectation that women are more fragile and more achy, more whatever.”

This has been precisely Ericka's experience with the United States' medical community (please see the previous Factoid of the Day). 

Glibly diagnosed with menopause at 42 by her PCP. when her ovaries completely failed all of a sudden.  Told by ER doctors that she was making herself hyperventilate to explain why she was tachycardic, hypertensive, and doubled over on the floor in pain and nausea.  Scolded for not getting enough exercise when my active, vivacious wife was brought down by absolute fatigue.

At various times during this saga, Ericka questioned herself, and would ask me if I thought she was crazy.  No, the strongest person I know, who always played through the pain, who made amazing shit happen, who could extemperaneously convince funding agencies to give her millions of dollars for affordable housing whilst dressed in gardening clothes, would not all of a sudden...just stop.

She stopped being able to have light in her life.  She stopped being able to listen to music.  She stopped being able to read, be active, do any of the things she loved.

We went to the same clinic last week to jump through bureaucratic hurdles and get an extension of meds an astute ER doc had prescribed her a few days prior to mitigate debilitating pain--neurology couldn't get her in for a couple more days, and it would be the height of cruelty to make Ericka suffer for any length of time.  Yet a 30-minute appointment turned into a torturous, 2-hour ordeal of cajoling, presenting old records, proving the need for relief, even taking a drug test, before the physician deigned to do no harm, and prescribed a mere 2 days' refill to help my wife.

Ericka has a systemic disease.  We know because she has terrible symptoms, and we have a lot of lab data to explain why.  But nobody listens to her because our health "care" system, and society at large, has a systemic disease that quite literally hurts and kills women.

Despite that fact, despite the crippling agony, despite the anguish caused by lacking a diagnosis, despite all the obstacles--from insidious microaggressions to traumatic misogyny--my wife is still here.  She is relentless, and she is smart, and she has put all the clues together and gotten all the pieces in place.

Ericka is going to make the medical establishment listen to her.  Every doctor she meets--not to mention American society--will be all the better for it.

ntodd

October 23, 10:50 PM in Family Life, Soaking In Patriarchy | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Profane And The Sacred


When will the cock crow?

ntodd

PS--There's a lovely restoration of the Ave Maria, although I admit to preferring the ethereal quality of the original animation.

October 23, 1:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Damned Achaeans

No Second Troy:

Why should I blame her that she filled my days 
With misery, or that she would of late 
Have taught to ignorant men most violent ways, 
Or hurled the little streets upon the great, 
Had they but courage equal to desire? 
What could have made her peaceful with a mind 
That nobleness made simple as a fire, 
With beauty like a tightened bow, a kind 
That is not natural in an age like this, 
Being high and solitary and most stern? 
Why, what could she have done, being what she is? 
Was there another Troy for her to burn?

WB Yeats.

ntodd

October 23, 1:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sunday, 10/22/2017

Get Me To Church


I'm the only one I should adore...

ntodd

October 22, 10:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Sacred And The Profane

Lord Dampnut gives himself a 10, although he still cannot be bothered to say Sgt. La David Johnson's name.

ntodd

October 22, 7:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Went to see the captain, strangest I could find


Laid my proposition down, laid it on the line.

ntodd

October 22, 1:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Listen To The Sweaty-toothed Madman

The port is near, the bells I hear:

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;  
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills;   
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding;  
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;  
    Here Captain! dear father!  
      This arm beneath your head;  
        It is some dream that on the deck,  
          You’ve fallen cold and dead.

Walt Whitman.

ntodd

October 22, 12:19 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Saturday, 10/21/2017

Consider This


The slip that brought me to my knees failed.

ntodd

PS--The story behind the song.

October 21, 10:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Kinder, Kirche, und Kuche

Defender of Womanhood, General Kelly:

When I was a kid growing up, a lot of things were sacred in our country.  Women were sacred and looked upon with great honor.

Reminded me of das Ehrenkreuz der Deutschen Mutter, and the Rosenstrasse wives' resistance in Berlin:

By the third day SS troops were given orders to train their guns on the crowd but to fire only warning shots. They did so numerous times, scattering the women to nearby alleyways. But the wives always returned and held their ground. They knew the soldiers would never fire directly at them because they were of German blood. Also, arresting or jailing any of the women would have been the rankest hypocrisy: According to Nazi theories, women were intellectually incapable of political action. So women dissenters were the last thing the Nazis wanted to have Germans hear about, and turning them into martyrs would have ruined the Nazis' self-considered image as the protector of motherhood.

Say what you will about Hitler, he never grabbed a mutter by die Muschi.

ntodd

October 21, 9:45 PM in Conscience, Constitution, Schmonstitution, Soaking In Patriarchy | Permalink | Comments (0)

We Were Born Sick


My lover's got humour...She's the giggle at a funeral.

ntodd

October 21, 8:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A Prater, A Star-gazer, A Good-for-nothing

Factoid of the Day: 26 doctors, 6 specialties, 3 states, 2 years, 0 confirmed diagnosis of the systemic failure ravaging Ericka's entire body.

Over the coming days and weeks, we'll be sharing more about the systemic failure of the American health "care" system, including the entrenched misogyny that makes it nigh impossible for a relentless, incredibly smart woman to be heard, helped, or healed by the medical community despite having platinum insurance coverage.

ntodd

October 21, 7:13 PM in Family Life, Soaking In Patriarchy, Suffering Fools | Permalink | Comments (0)

You know who's back up in this mothafucker


Well, it's legal in Orygun.

ntodd

October 21, 1:36 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Here, Doggy, Doggy

Pig Song:

I am yours. If you feed me garbage,
I will sing a song of garbage.
This is a hymn.

Margaret Atwood.

ntodd

October 21, 12:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Friday, 10/20/2017

That'll Do, Pigs


Beaming, I was star struck...

ntodd

PS--I love Sam Neill's pig tweets.

October 20, 11:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Cats In Space

We miss our cats.  Some time I'll tell you the story behind it all.  In the meantime, read about Félicette, France's first feline in space.

ntodd

October 20, 11:08 PM in Mars, Bitches! | Permalink | Comments (4)

We had not been unaware of the danger to which our peace would be perpetually exposed

Damn Jefferson's nefarious subversion of the Constitution on this date, 1803:

The Senate resumed the consideration of the treaty and conventions, made with the First Consul of France; and, on the question, Will the Senate agree to the ratification of the same?

  • It passed in the affirmative,
  • Yeas, ... 24,
  • Nays, ... 7.

Those Who voted in the affirmative, are--Messrs. Anderson, Bailey, Baldwin, Bradley, Breckinridge, Brown, Butler, Clinton, Cocke, Condit, Dayton, Ellery, Franklin, Jackson, Logan, Maclay, Nicholas, Potter, Israel Smith, Samuel Smith, Stone, Taylor, Worthington, and Wright.

Those who voted in the negative, are‐Messrs. Hillhouse, Olcott Pickering, Plumer, Tracy, Wells, and White.

So it was,

"Resolved, (two-thirds of the Senators present concurring therein,) That the Senate do advise and consent to the ratification of the treaty, as well as to the ratification of the two conventions connected therewith, made and concluded at Paris, on the 10th day of Floreal, in the 11th year of the French Republic, (30th April, 1803,) between the United States and the said French Republic, by Robert R. Livingston and James Monroe, Ministers Plenipotentiary on the part of the United States, and Barbi Marbois, Minister of the Public Treasury of the French Republic, on the part of the said Republic."

Ordered, That the Secretary lay this resolution before the President of the United States.

The next day, Senator Breckinridge indicated he would bring in a bill that enabled President Jefferson to actually take possession of the Louisiana Purchase.  Interestingly enough, it's the same day that one John Quincy Adams was admitted as a member of the Senate, and what ultimately would become the 12th Amendment, fixing some serious defects in the Electoral College with the rise of our first party system post-Washington, was proposed.

And it was all downhill from there...

ntodd

October 20, 10:35 PM in Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (0)

If you want to get into a debate with a black Congresswoman, I think that that’s something highly inappropriate.

Gen Kelly forgets that the military is subservient to civilian control.  And that lying is wrong.

ntodd

PS--To those who cry, "it's a distraction, you dummies!"  STFU.  We can multitask, first of all, and this is his tell, which is actually quite useful to note (and an atrocity to document).  Stop acting like conspiracy nuts who just want to seem smart and in the know.

October 20, 9:49 PM in Constitution, Schmonstitution | Permalink | Comments (1)

We're Not In The Shire Anymore


Fly, you fools!

ntodd

October 20, 2:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Atrocious fanfare where I won’t stumble!

Morning of Drunkenness:

  Laughter of children, discretion of slaves, austerity of virgins, horror in the faces and objects of today, may you be consecrated by the memory of that wake. It began in all loutishness, now it’s ending among angels of flame and ice.

Arthur Rimbaud.

ntodd

October 20, 2:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

#tbt


We used to walk quietly to school through a magical wood, now I scream from a concrete driveway, "RUN...RUN, YOU FOOLS, OR YOU'LL MISS THE BUS AGAIN!"

ntodd

October 20, 1:38 AM in Family Life | Permalink | Comments (0)

Wednesday, 10/18/2017

1 Kings


And all the people rejoiced.

ntodd

October 18, 2:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

O Ye young and thoughtless youth

A Poem for Children with Thoughts on Death:

Like little worms they turn and crawl,
   And gasp for every breath.
The blessed Jesus sends his call,
   And takes them to his rest.

Jupiter Hammon.

ntodd

October 18, 1:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This Is How We Get Lord Dampnut


Mamet's history might suck, but here endeth the lesson.

ntodd

October 18, 12:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)